First night sex: Reason why it isn’t always good for the first time

Having a first night encounter with your partner may seem very thrilling and exciting at first but there’s a lot that goes on behind the scenes and in your mind that can ruin your entire experience.

First Published Aug 31, 2020, 4:49 PM IST

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Whether you’re an experienced player in the field of sex or are just a humble beginner, your first night sex will always either be one of your best sex moments or your worst nightmare.

While it is completely understandable to have certain expectations and sexual fantasies saved for your first night, you must not let your emotions be overpowered by these expectations. That being said, there could be many things that could disrupt your first night experience with sex. Here are a few to look out for.
 

Unrealistic expectations: Considering many people hear and learn a lot about sex from their friends or near ones or through external materials such as magazines, films, porn, etc., there are a lot of unrealistic expectations that develops in the mind of a person. This in turn results in a lot of disappointments on the first night of sex. While the ability to have sex differs from one person to another, building expectations on the basis of other people’s sexual experiences can really damage your sexual journey.

Self-doubt and body insecurities: First night sex is always terrifying as there are a series of doubtful moments and body insecurities that lurk in from time to time. One is always self-conscious of themselves and instead of taking pleasure in the process, they just focus on appearing presentable.

Anxiety: Well, it’s the first night with your partner and the only natural thing you could feel is anxiety. Being anxious is a completely natural phenomena, especially when it involves something as nerve-wracking yet intense experience as sex. But this can also ruin your time with your partner as you’re more worried about how you’re performing rather than enjoying it.

You think you know it all but you don’t: Having learned a few things about sex and sex position does not really make anyone the master of sex and most of the time this is what leads to an unpleasable sex experience. While some are over-confident about their knowledge in sex, while in the process of it, they realize how wrong they were. This leads to a myriad of disappointments and self-embarrassment. So, it is always advisable to be spontaneous and go with the flow.
 

Your pleasure is overshadowed by excessive thinking: First night sex can make a person think a lot. “Am I doing it correctly?” “Is he/she enjoying as much as I am?” “Am I being too selfish?” All these questions can slow down the process of pleasure. It’s best to keep your thoughts aside and enjoy it while it lasts.

Lack of synchronization: Many times, there is love, intent and utmost intimacy, however, because it’s a first night there might be no synchronization. That means, your sexual rhythm doesn’t seem to match your partners which goes on to disturb the flow of your sexual intercourse. This could take some time to settle, but it will be worth it once you master it.