Actor Govinda has opened up about the darkest phase of his life following his mother Nirmala Devi’s death in 1996, revealing how overwhelming grief once led him to walk into the Narmada River.
Actor Govinda has opened up about one of the most difficult phases of his life, recalling the emotional turmoil he experienced after the death of his mother, Nirmala Devi, in 1996. In a recent conversation with ANI, the actor revealed that he was so devastated by her passing that he once walked into the Narmada River, believing he might be able to reunite with her.
Nirmala Devi, a trained Hindustani classical vocalist and actress, died on June 15, 1996, at the age of 69. Govinda shared a deeply emotional relationship with his mother and has previously spoken about the strong spiritual impact she had on his life.
Remembering the period following her death, Govinda said he was consumed by grief and felt as though his life had come to an end.
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“I was in a lot of pain. I was in tremendous pain. At that point, I felt that everything was over; that was it,” he said.
Govinda Admits He Was Trying To End His Life
When asked if walking into the river was an attempt to take his own life, Govinda acknowledged that it was, to an extent. He explained that his deep attachment to his mother made it extremely difficult for him to cope with her loss.
“Kind of. I was deeply attached to my mother. I was too much in love with her,” the actor said.
However, Govinda said he does not view the incident only through the conventional understanding of suicide. Speaking from his spiritual perspective, he said he believes that life continues in different forms.
“That’s what the world calls it. People use suicide type of words. We don’t really have anything like that. Life never ends. It takes on new faces; it takes on new forms,” he said.
Sadhu Helped Govinda Come Out Of The River
Govinda also recalled how a sadhu intervened while he was in the Narmada River. According to the actor, the man, whom he remembers as Ram Kundal, called out to him and approached him.
“He called out to me and came toward me. I came out of the river and he asked, ‘What happened, Govind?’” Govinda recalled.
The unexpected encounter became a turning point for the actor. Govinda said someone at the time made him understand that he had responsibilities and a reason to continue living, particularly for his children.
“I realised, actually someone said to me this at that time that I was doing something wrong… And I learned a lesson, I realised that I have to live for my children,” he said.
Govinda Says It Took 10-15 Days To Overcome The Phase
Govinda revealed that he did not immediately recover from the emotional turmoil. It took him around 10 to 15 days to gradually come out of that state of mind and begin looking at life differently.
With time, the actor realised that there was still more for him to experience. His mother’s death remained one of the most painful moments of his life, but the incident also made him reassess his purpose and responsibilities.
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