What would a Mallu do in ISIS? Beware, troll-field ahead!

Even as the ISIS threat is close home and around 21 Keralites are suspected to have joined the Islamic State, Malayalee social media trollers are having a blast. ISIS may be the most dreaded terror outfit on earth, but ‘Mallu trollers’ are simply not scared! They have let their imagination run wild guessing on what a Malayalee would do by joining the Islamic state.   

ISIS Chief: "Have you completed your mission to bring the US to a halt"?

 New Malayalee recruit: Yes I have called for a 'Bandh' (the typical Mmalayalee way to protest anything and everything under the sun!)  

 

ISIS Chiefs: Do you have any previous experience?

Malayalee recruit: I used to play mini militia!

 

 

Malayalee recruit: So we don't have to do anything. Just take responsibility for all, right? 

ISIS Chief: (Irritated) Hell with you, haven't seen such lazy people like you before...

Malayalee: Don't yell, I am a B-tech from Kerala, you know?

A Malayalee who bit a bomb mistaking it for his favourite snack 'Bonda'

 

 

An ISIS head in Kerala

Mallus: Who are you?

ISIS head: I have come from Syria and want to go to Perumbavoor. Malayalees of our terror camp are on strike demanding Bengali migrant labourers to be brought in for planting bomb and for shooting.

 

A junior recruit: So if we killed innocents, we get to paradise, right?

Senior terrorist: No you need to detonate yourself !

Young man: Aunty, where do you want to go after death, heaven or hell?
Old woman: I prefer hell. The heaven is full with ISIS terrorists. I don't want to get shot.

A Malayalee ISIS recruit on duty even on Onam Day!!
 

An ISIS camp after Malayalees joined it.

"Who are you to order me to blast a bomb?!!"

 

 

 

Guess what happened a month after ISIS recruited Keralites!

ISIS now and its transformation after Mallus joined rank. Within a year, the ISIS will have Islamic State National Congress, Islamic State Malayora (Secular), Islamic State Workers Union, Mahila Islamic State and Students Federation of Islamic State!!



Is this the office of the dreaded ISIS?

ISIS? yes, long back, though. Now this is a Terrorist Workers Cooperative Society!

 

ISIS chief: What's happening here?

Malayalee female recruit: Sir.. I was grinding rice for making ‘puttu’ in the morning and this guy took my Ulaka (grinding rod)

ISIS chief: ‘Ulaka’, here?! How Come? Show it to me.

ISIS chief (after seeing it): God..it is my rocket launcher !!