Imposing your ideas on children can be harmful: 5 best ways to develop their personality

First Published 25, Sep 2017, 4:08 PM IST
Imposing your ideas on children can be harmful 5 best ways to develop their personality
Highlights
  • Teach your children to come to terms with their own emotions.
  • Help them validate their opinions and emotional outbursts.
  • Value their opinions, even if you do not follow them.

Giving children the right kind of mental, emotional and psychological support has been every parents' dream. However, it turns out to be a nightmare when it is not known what should be done and what should not be done.

And when in confusion, parents tend to make the most mistakes by forcing them to do and not do things that could actually help them grow into better human beings.

Throwing tantrums could be a healthy sign

Most often than not, children throw tantrums for things that they do not get. For instance in a supermarket, for a chocolate or an icecream. They also tend to create a ruckus when they fall. Parents usually brush off these incidences as insignificant and also ask their children to treat them the same way. Few of the most common ways that parents use to deal with these situations is to ask their children to get up on their own and brush off when they fall. In the other case, parents threaten children of dire consequences if they did not stop crying for something not worth shedding tears. In both the cases, children will believe that life will always be hard on them and they have to find their way to handle it, even if that means telling a lie.

Crying is a way of expressing

Let them cry and express their hearts out, because that is the only way or the language they know to express themselves. If you ask them to stop right there, there are chanches that they will not be able to express their anxiety or feelings when they grow. Take their expressions of distress or disappointment over things and incidents seriously. Even if that might occur trivial for you, remember, it may mean the world for the little one. If you reject your child's feeling outrightly and ask him not to whine or cry unneccessarily, you will make him feel that there is something wrong with him. He will, thus, suffer from lack of confidence.

Be their role models

If you want them to learn something good, practice being good yourself. If you want them to help others, show them how to do it. For example, show them how to be kind to others without instructing them. Help elderly cross the road so that they learn the virtues of kindness. Visit orphanages and spend time with the children along with your child so that he or she appreciates what he has and learns to empathise with people who do not have what they want.

Let them express human emotions

Whenever a boy cries over something, parents tend to chide them saying "don't be a sissy" or "don't cry like a girl". We are demarcating genders right away over a very human emotion. Crying has nothing to do with being a man or a woman. It is as important an expression like anger, agony, pain or disappointment. By allowing them to express their emotions, you are showing them that you respect their feelings and it is ok to express.

Remember not to shut them down when they are expressing their opinions. Instead, tel them that you understand what they are trying to say and would certainly discuss about their views. That you understand their emotions and know how it feels. This way, your children will know that their opinions and expressions are being taken seriously and will learn to have confidence in themselves. 

A healthy environment creates healthy children

Spouse disagreement over an issue is a common thing. However, quarreling or arguing in front of children has a very bad impression on their mental well being. Firstly, they would learn that their parents never agree with each other, which sometimes creates a lot of pressure on their emotional well being. Children, sometimes also learn to use the disagreements as their tool to get their jobs done. So, never quarrel in front of them.


 

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