Know one of those days when everything goes perfectly? The auto stops right next to you as soon as you step out of the gate and the surly driver in brown says ‘Yes, I will take you wherever you want even if it’s just four minutes away.’ All the work and the errands that you have to do complete themselves with utmost efficiency as if a divine, well-oiled, clockwork is set in motion. Even the weather holds, whipping up a breeze when it’s hot and gently screening the fierce sun with a cloud.
According to some pundits, this happens when you harness the positive energy in the universe. When I read this, I was suitably impressed. I knew I had to make this power mine and I would try anything. The first thing I came across was chanting. ‘They’ said if I chant these seven words daily at the beginning and the end of my day, all the obstacles in my life would self-dissolve to leave a path of dazzling ease and happiness. I tried it for the recommended 21 days. The only thing that happened was I got a sore throat from 15 minutes of loud chanting and my partner invested in a pair of noise cancellation headphones.
I wasn’t one to give up so easily. The next bit of advice I got on channelling this marvellous energy that’s floating around us was to thank the universe every day for its multifold gifts. ‘Thank you for not letting my mother irritate me and vice versa. ‘Thank you for letting the flush work.’ ‘Thank you for turning the traffic light red.’ I enjoyed doing this. It made me feel like a good, less needy person. However, after a few weeks of expressing gratitude to the powers that be for letting me cross the road, limbs intact or for the morning lemon I squeezed into warm water, it began to get exhausting. Yes, we have somany things to be grateful for if we only look.
To compound my scepticism, in my head all these thank-yous were directed at needs, which I thought were a basic prerequisite for life. I still ached for my large dreams to turn real and thanking the unknown for shoe polish wasn’t helping.
Then I tried the old hoax about the universe ‘conspiring’ to make things happen. I believed that what I wanted so badly was already given to me. I cleared my mind of doubt and cynicism. I let only positive and good thoughts enter my head. I trusted the conspiracy with every single cell in me. Finally, the big day arrived and it passed without anything being granted. My fantasy continued to remain a fiction.
As of today, I have given up. If you know of any other way to harness this magic that makes wishes turn true do let me now. For now, the only thing I am sure of is that the universe is random. Luck is a mixed bag and all you can do is hold on to your sense of humour. That works even if nothing else does.
Still Figuring It Out’ a funny, sad, questioning take on adulthood will appear every Saturday on newsable.com. Arathi Menon is the author of Leaving Home With Half a Fridge, a memoir published by Pan Macmillan. She tweets at https://twitter.com/unopenedbottle. The views expressed here are her own.
