Tricks and tips to deal with 'TOXIC' in-laws; ladies thank me later

Are in-laws troubling you? Read to know about how you can deal with toxic in-laws.

Team Newsable

Bangalore, First Published May 28, 2021, 12:58 PM IST | Last Updated May 28, 2021, 1:00 PM IST

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Dealing with in-laws can be a super tricky situation. They are a massive part of your spouse’s life, ergo a significant part of your lives. You may be blessed set of in-laws who give you your space and let you be. However, you might not be so lucky in this department and may have your occasional tiffs with your in-laws. 

How do you balance your needs with the expectations of your family? It’s a slippery slope and often way too stressful. Here are a few tips that you can follow to make things a little easier:

Remember: You and your partner are a team: Dealing with household conflicts is difficult. Things become even worse if you are also fighting with your partner. So, instead of fighting, make him your confidant. Let him be your armour. Explain your problems. Tell them the help you expect. The primary rule for survival: Remember, you are in this together. 

Set Boundaries and enforce them: Have a clear-cut boundary of what you can or cannot do. You should not take more on your plate than you can chew. Do not set any unreasonable expectations. Also, remember to enforce your boundaries. Don’t let anybody meddle with your personal space. If you like something, have it. Don’t sacrifice things dear to you, and one of them is your peace of mind.

Talk to them: I know this does sound like too good to be true solution, but this might help. Communication is a time-tested method for conflict resolution. Make them understand that their behaviour has bothered you. Ensure your likes and dislikes are well communicated to them. This method may take time but will at least ensure that you are not burdened under your repressed emotions. 

Ensure your own happiness: Take your time off. Pamper yourself. Don’t change yourself in efforts to make yourself more likeable to your in-laws. That won’t help. That will rather make you unhappier. Go get a mani-pedi or just relax and binge on your favourite Netflix show to blow off some steam away from all your troubles. Just relax!

Don’t react immediately: Remember, we are at our worst selves when we are angry. We often say hurtful things which we can’t take back. This may burn bridges beyond repair. So, when the trigger comes from the other side, just don’t react immediately. Leave the room, go to balcony, throw some pillows behind closed doors of your bedroom, but calm down. Take a long breath, analyse the situation and then deal with tact, not with anger.

Be mature and Kind: Your parents love you; it is by default. But it isn’t default for your in-laws. They often think that the love their kids have for them will get divided now, and you are the reason. So, don’t always take it to your heart. They are growing old, so we must be a little kind to them. Take a step back sometimes. Maybe that will be the right thing to do sometimes. 

Your in-laws are important, your partner is important, but you should be your priority. So, while these tips might help mitigate the problems, you should see what works the best for you. Don’t let anybody meddle with your relationships and your mental peace. So, even if your in-laws create difficulties in your life, you can overcome them if you and your partner stand by each other.