Sudha Murthy's 8 Tips for a Happy Marriage

Sudha Murthy, a successful entrepreneur and billionaire, has also built a beautiful family. Here are her 8 evergreen tips for a happy marriage.

Sudha Murthy, chairperson of the Infosys Foundation, is not only a billionaire but also the architect of a beautiful family. Alongside her passion for reading and writing, she balanced the demands of home, raising children, and supporting her husband, N. R. Narayana Murthy, the co-founder of Infosys. Despite his busy professional life, Sudha Murthy nurtured a loving, grounded family without complaint. Drawing from her experience, here are some of her insightful thoughts on building a happy and compatible marriage:

1. Marriage is not a balance sheet.

While equality is a key element of a healthy relationship, some couples treat marriage like a contract, meticulously calculating every action on a 50:50 basis. This rigid mindset can erode the warmth and spontaneity of a relationship. True harmony lies in understanding and lovingly fulfilling each other’s responsibilities, not in maintaining strict parity.

2. Avoid competition in marriage.

A marriage should not be a battleground for one-upmanship. Competition between partners leads to conflict and resentment. As life evolves, so should the couple—adapting to changing circumstances, redefining roles, and respecting each other's priorities.

3. Communication is everything.

Every individual wants to be understood and cared for. While this desire is natural, life's pressures can sometimes get in the way. It’s not always easy to read your partner’s mind, especially when nothing is openly expressed. That’s why clear, honest communication is essential to a thriving relationship.

4. Don’t ignore problems—address them.

When a relationship starts to fade, it’s important not to let it deteriorate further. Both partners must take initiative to repair it. Seeking counseling should never be seen as a weakness—it’s a sign of commitment. Sometimes, unspoken emotions are best unraveled with expert help, allowing the couple to find clarity and common ground.

5. Empathy over arguments.

Arguments rarely solve anything. Instead, try stepping into your partner’s shoes and understanding their perspective. Empathy is a powerful tool that can nurture a long-lasting, meaningful bond.

6. Shared goals strengthen relationships.

Every couple should work together to define their family’s goals—what they wish to achieve and how they envision their future. An environment where both can express opinions freely and honestly builds mutual respect and clarity in the relationship.

7. Respect each other's interests.

About 60% of people believe that shared interests contribute to a healthy relationship. While similar hobbies can help, what truly matters is respect for each other’s passions. Even if interests differ, ridiculing or dismissing them can harm the relationship. Listen actively when your partner shares what they love—it shows you care. Support isn’t just about agreement; it’s about engagement.

8. A child isn’t a solution to marital problems.

Many believe that the birth of a child can fix a troubled marriage, but this is a misconception. A child can deepen the love in an already strong relationship, but it cannot mend one that is broken. For parenthood to bring joy, both partners must be aligned, committed, and ready to give the time and effort required.