The relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can sometimes be delicate, but with a little mindfulness, it can thrive. There are certain things a mother-in-law should avoid saying to her daughter-in-law to maintain a peaceful, respectful bond. Words carry weight, and avoiding some common pitfalls can prevent tension and build a harmonious family environment. Here are some things a mother-in-law should never say to her daughter-in-law to ensure a positive, supportive relationship.
1. Avoid criticism
Avoid criticizing your daughter-in-law constantly. Refrain from saying things like, 'In our time, things were different,' or 'This isn't allowed in our house.' Times change, and so do people. Recognize that today's generation has different perspectives.
2. Don't make her feel unwelcome
Don't make your daughter-in-law feel unwelcome. She left her family to be with yours. Avoid repeatedly saying, 'This isn't your house.' Such remarks are hurtful. Accept her as a family member.
3. Forgive her
If your daughter-in-law makes mistakes, forgive her like a mother. Don't criticize her upbringing or her parents. Such words can damage your relationship and diminish her respect for you.
4. Comparing her
Comparing your daughter-in-law to someone else, whether it’s another family member or friend, is a recipe for resentment. Each person is unique, and it’s important to appreciate your daughter-in-law for who she is, rather than trying to make her live up to someone else’s standards.
5. Don't dismiss her
Include your daughter-in-law in family decisions. Don't dismiss her opinions or tell her to be quiet. Avoid comparing her to your daughter; it's hurtful and creates unnecessary tension.
6. Keep her feelings in mind
Dismissing your daughter-in-law’s feelings by telling her she’s too sensitive can invalidate her emotions and create distance in the relationship. Instead of minimizing her feelings, listen and try to understand her perspective. Empathy is key to building a strong bond.
7. Financial matters
Commenting on how your daughter-in-law manages her finances or spends money can feel invasive and judgmental. Unless you are specifically asked for financial advice, it's best to avoid this topic. Every couple manages their finances differently, and your daughter-in-law’s spending habits are a personal matter.
The role of a mother-in-law can be a supportive and cherished one when approached with sensitivity. By avoiding hurtful remarks and choosing to uplift and empower your daughter-in-law, you can help cultivate a loving and harmonious family environment.