When a Khat-fight broke out in Uttar Pradesh

Buoyed by images of people in Deoria, in eastern Uttar Pradesh, walking away with the `Khats' (cots) after Rahul Gandhi's khat sabha, people in urban areas of the state want the Congress to organise sofa sabhas in the cities as well. 

 

Sandhya, a homemaker told Tenali Rama that she is convinced that Congress ka haath, aam aadmi ke saath.

 

"Our sofa is in a bad condition. My Mister, Agrawal ji, is just not willing to get it repaired. Only one request, Rahul Gandhi should organise sofas in blue colour upholstery. It will match well with our house wall,'' said Sandhya. 

Given that winter is approaching in another couple of months, requests have also come in for quilt sabhas.

 

"Rajai will be very useful,'' said Mayank Prasad. "If they can declare the meeting dates in advance, I will ensure my brothers take leave that day so that we can loot the maximum number of rajai.''

Even though it was khat unawares, the Uttar Pradesh Congress is delighted at the response.

 

"Sir, this free-for-all shows Congress is selling,'' beamed Raj Babbar, president of the UP Congress. "In no time, Congress will be present in every house. Our idea has khat on, now we do not need any sound recordist." 

 

That Babbar and Prashant Kishor, at who the sound recordist barb was targeted, do not get along is the talk on every khat in Uttar Pradesh. 

Meanwhile, in a surprise development, censor board chief Pahlaj Nihalani - who is considered close to the BJP, has offered to produce the sequel to David Dhawan's 'Raja Babu' with Rahul Gandhi in the lead.

 

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The film will be titled `Raja Babu Returns' and Nihalani feels it will provide Rahul Gandhi with a Khat-ing edge before the UP polls. The hugely popular song `Sarkai lo khatiya' will be shot in a real location in Deoria, Nihalani told Tenali Rama.

 

"And I will sue the censor board if they khat any scene from the film,'' he added.

Meanwhile, Abdul Wahid says he voted for the Samajwadi party last time but the khat has got him thinking. "Is there a warranty period on the khat?" he asked, saying, "It should not need repair for at least five years.''

The BJP has attacked the Samajwadi party, saying its rule has reduced the people of Uttar Pradesh to those who indulge in a khat-fight. Khat on the wrong foot, SP minister Azam Khan - who had set policemen after thieves who had stolen his buffaloes - has suggested Buffalo bazaars to blunt the khat-mal (bed bugs) from the Congress camp.

 

'Jiski laathi uski bhains' will be the name of the meetings to demonstrate SP muscle power. 

"Rural UP folks will feel at home, amidst the buffaloes. And who will not want to own an Azam Khan buffalo?" Azam Khan told Tenali Rama.

 

The SP strongman will get `Sponsored by Azam Khan' painted on every buffalo. 

(Tenali Rama is a satirical series by senior journalist TS Sudhir.)