Supporting a friend with depression can be challenging, but your empathy and presence can make a real difference. This guide outlines key do’s and don’ts to help you offer meaningful support without overstepping or causing unintended harm.
Helping a friend who's depressed can be daunting—you want to be supportive, but aren't always certain how. The reality is, your presence, empathy, and understanding can be a tremendous aid. But be sure to enter into it cautiously. The following are the do's and don'ts to help your friend find his way through depression.
Do's and Dont's On how to help a freind with depression:
DO: Listen Without Judging
Sometimes more than talking is required to be heard and heard accurately. One of the most useful things that you can do is listen. Allow your friend to describe how they feel without attempting to "fix" it immediately.
Tip: Ask questions such as, "Do you want to talk about what's been on your mind?"
Avoid: Unsolicited advice-giving.
DON'T: Dismiss Their Feelings
Statements like “You’ll be fine” or “Just think positive” can unintentionally minimize their pain. Depression isn’t something that can be turned off with willpower.
Why It Matters: Invalidating their experience may make them retreat further or feel misunderstood.
DO: Encourage Professional Help
Support them in seeking therapy, talking to a mental health professional, or speaking to a doctor. Offer to help them find resources or even go with them to their first appointment if they’re comfortable.
Reminder: You’re a friend, not a therapist—and that’s okay.
DON’T: Take Responsibility for Their Recovery
It's reasonable to desire to set them right, but setting them straight is not your responsibility. Depression is a serious mental illness that needs a professional touch, patience, and time.
Don't: Burnout from not having boundaries and devoting time to caring for your own mental health too.
DO: Stay Connected
Even when they are flaking or won't seem to be getting anything, keep calling. A quick text like "I'm here if you want to talk" can be a lifeline.
Why It Works: Depression isolates individuals. Ongoing support reminds them that they are not alone.
DON'T: Take Charge Assuming You're the Expert
Every depression is unique. Don't assume what they require—ask them directly what you can do to help them.
Try Asking: "What makes you a little better when everything's awful?"
DO: Offer Practical Support
Small things such as going out to shop, running errands, or simply sitting with them can subtract from daily responsibilities that become too much in depression.
Effect: Being present in practical ways demonstrates you care without emotionally overloading them.
Last Thought: Be Kind and Patient
Taking care of a depressed person isn't about providing solutions—it's about providing stability, compassion, and patience in the long term. Small day-to-day acts of kindness could be more precious than self-importance. Let them recover at their own speed, but know that they are not alone.