Ever wondered about deathbed regrets? Hospice nurse reveals top 3 things people say moments before they die
By Shweta Kumari | First Published Nov 20, 2024, 8:30 AM ISTLos Angeles-based palliative care nurse Julie McFadden, widely recognized as Hospice Nurse Julie on social media, has revealed the three most common regrets expressed by patients on their deathbeds.
Los Angeles-based palliative care nurse Julie McFadden, widely recognized as Hospice Nurse Julie on social media, has revealed the three most common regrets expressed by patients on their deathbeds.
Speaking candidly with NHS surgeon Dr. Karan Rajan on his podcast, McFadden, who boasts over 15 years of experience in end-of-life care, revealed regrets often revolve around unappreciated aspects of life that only gain importance in its twilight.
“The first one I hear all the time is that they regret not appreciating their health while they had it,” McFadden shared, emphasizing the universal lament of neglecting one’s physical well-being. “That’s the number one thing people say to me, I wish I would have understood how amazing it is to have a working body,” she added.
Another recurring regret, she noted, is overworking. Many patients admit they “worked too much” and express sorrow for sacrificing their lives on the altar of productivity.
Perhaps the most bittersweet regret revolves around relationships. McFadden disclosed that many wish they had nurtured certain connections, while others regret holding onto grudges or caring excessively about others’ opinions.
Dr. Rajan, reflecting on McFadden’s insights, recounted a tragic case that left an indelible mark on him. “A few years ago, when I saw a young woman come in with pancreatitis in her 20s, within three hours this young woman is in the intensive care unit, she’s intubated, ventilated, and the next day, she had passed away. That just made me think, wow, life can just go in a flash.” He urged his 1.5 million followers not to take life for granted, reminding them of life’s fleeting nature.
Beyond regrets, McFadden offers pragmatic advice for navigating the often “messy” journey of dying, which can involve pain, confusion, and terminal agitation. Her key strategy? Education.
“Knowing what to expect, what’s normal, and what’s not normal” is crucial, she explained, as is fostering open communication with healthcare professionals and loved ones. She encouraged individuals to prepare for the inevitability of change—whether it’s the declining independence of a loved one or one’s own limitations in life’s final days.
“You won’t be able to do all the things you used to do. You won’t be able to live super independently. That’s difficult to accept,” McFadden remarked. “But learning this stuff now will hopefully help you prepare so it won’t feel so chaotic when it’s happening.”
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