'Why are people from the North generally rude?': Reddit user's post sparks massive online debate

By Sunita Iyer | First Published Sep 30, 2024, 5:20 PM IST

A recent post on Reddit by a user known as Livid_Plum2646 has ignited a passionate discussion on the social behaviour of individuals from northern India, particularly highlighting an incident at a cultural show that showcased the traditional dances of various tribes. The user's personal experiences have prompted questions about regional differences in behaviour, politeness, and cultural attitudes across India.

The post recounts an experience at a cultural event where tribes from different states performed traditional dances. The user observed a striking contrast between two individuals: one from Arunachal Pradesh, who politely asked for permission to sit in an empty chair, and another, presumably from Uttar Pradesh or Madhya Pradesh, who aggressively ordered the Arunachal performer to sit down. This interaction was described as emblematic of a broader issue regarding the perceived rudeness of people from northern states.

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The user's narrative emphasized the polite demeanor of the Arunachal native, who approached strangers with respect and courtesy. In stark contrast, the behaviour of the individual from the north was characterized by an authoritative tone and a lack of consideration for others. The user expressed frustration, remarking on how such encounters contribute to a negative perception of people from northern states.

What the Reddit user said:

Yesterday I had the opportunity to visit a cultural show where tribes from different states were asked to come and show their traditional dances. Right next to us, we had an empty chair. A guy from Arunachal came and stood there, and we could judge that his tribe was performing as well, because he had their traditional dress on.

Him: "Sir is this chair empty?"

Us: "Yes"

Even after knowing the chair was empty, he goes on to ask politely

Him: "Would it be alright if I sit here?"

Us: "Sure! Sure, you can sit"

What amazed me was his polite nature and demeanor. He then sat and we had a nice conversation where we talked about his tribe, and if he goes from state to state to perform this dance, and we learned that he is from an NGO and they got invited to perform.

When the show started, his tribe lit up the stage as they came with drums, traditional dresses, masks, two dragons, a woman resemblimg a peacock and more. It was beautiful, so he stood up to film as there were a lot of people who were standing to click photos and record as well. Of course the view of spectator's sitting behind was getting blocked, mine was too because of an aunty who stood up even though she was tall. Suddenly I heard a loud voice and I turned to my left to see a guy, with his hands on the shoulders of this Arunachal guy. The guy grabbing the shoulders was from either UP, or MP, given he spoke "khadi boli" like me, and I am from UP, so I can criticize seeing the on ground reality. The way he behaved, made me want to punch him in the face

Guy: "Oye hero, baith ja, peeche walo ko dikh nahi raha hai"

Arunachal Guy: "Yes yes, my tribe is performing..I will sit"

Guy: "Baith ja chal baith ja khade mat hoyio"

Now while leaving, this guy turns around and make sures this Arunachal guy is sitting while himself standing in the way of others

Guy: "Baith ja, baith! baith, baith!"

What shocked me was the stark difference between the behaviour of two people from the same country. One asks for permission to sit even on an empty chair, though the chair did not belong to us, its the organiser's, and the other instead of asking him to move and film from somewhere else, barks orders like a dog. Now this is not a post to malign the image of UP or MP or Delhi, because its already shit. Doesn't make much difference if I add one more incident to it, it'll still be shit. And what makes it shit is this behaviour.

This encounter prompted Livid_Plum2646 to draw conclusions about the behavioural traits of people from northern India. They noted a pattern of perceived rudeness in these regions compared to their positive experiences in states like Rajasthan, Gujarat, and Maharashtra, where residents were described as warm and welcoming.

What the Reddit user further stated:

Now I have lived in and travelled to many states, Rajasthan, MP, Uttar Pradesh, Gujarat, Maharashtra. Lived in Delhi for a while as well. Trust me on this, I have never found people with worse behaviour than people of UP and Delhi, and yesterday's was my first incident in MP.

When we had moved to Jaipur, I remember my neighbour asking his maid to cook chole ki sabzi for us and brought it over, and we never even had a conversation with him, yet he was so polite. Since we were kids back then, he asked "mujhse dosti karoge aap bacche log?" This guy was an old professor, in his 80s. The next day, I got invited by my other neighbour to come and watch IPL as we had still not unpacked our TV and asked me to befriend his kid, by saying "Aao, tumhare jaisa hamare yaha bhi badmash hai ek, usse milwata hu". When I was in Vadodara, Gujarat, I was praying at a temple, and they draw curtains when they are clealing the garbh-grah or for bhog, or something, I dont know the exact reason. So it was morning time. So this lady, noticing me pray outside and curtains being drawn, asked someone to call me inside the area where idols were situated as she continued with her work. And politely asked me to sit and pray inside.

But while I was in Delhi, within two days, a rash driving guy, almost bumped into us, then my family noticed a 17-18 year old boy beating a richshaw wala because he overtook them. I mean if a richshaw wala who is pedalling can overtake your scooty with a 110cc to 120 cc engine, then you should already be ashamed of yourself, go home and sleep, no need to cuss him and embarrass yourself in public.

Though I have some idea as to why we, from north behave like this, I'd like to know more about a solution and the reasons. A family member told me this "The place where the nature is difficult and against you, one needs to work together in groups to ensure their group's survival, hence the humbleness. Whereas when the land is fertile and weather favourable, people divide in groups, thinking they can survive alone. Hence they drift further apart"

The historical context also plays a vital role in this discussion. Livid_Plum2646 suggested that the invasions and challenges faced by northern regions throughout history may have contributed to a more hardened demeanor. In contrast, areas less affected by invasions and more dependent on trade may fostered greater cooperation and social connections among their inhabitants.

"P.S. : Not a South vs North question, though it might seem like it because a lot of people automatically jumped to this conclusion. But I've reached the conclusion that it is mostly due to multiple invasions and a primary agriculture economy here where one can be their own boss, hence not having to be dependent much on others. Also invasions lead to less resources. Whereas other parts were not invaded as much or were hard to invade given their terrain. And having an economy dependent on trade, hence the need to develop connections with others and be humble in other states," the user concluded.

The Reddit post quickly gained traction, drawing in various opinions and sparking a debate about cultural behaviours in India. While some users echoed the sentiment of the original poster, agreeing that rudeness seemed more prevalent in northern regions, others cautioned against generalizations, emphasizing the importance of individual experiences over regional stereotypes.

"Haryana specifically is a place where having social etiquette can be looked down upon as a threat to manhood," wrote one user in response to the viral post.

Another user commented, "False pride. Anyone who thinks they are great, is surely a good feeling to have. But when someone thinks they are great and everyone else isn't, that's where there's a problem. Every culture has some greatness in it. One has to be open to realize this. Also, one's actual greatness comes from humility. Coz, knowledgeable people know that the sea of knowledge is vast, and they could only learn so much in their limited lifetime. Whereas, someone who's remained in the well of their limited understanding, fear change, fear understanding and fear the belief that they know less. Their inferiority complex makes them feel superior to cover their inability."

A third Reddit user remarked, "I've spent my first 20 years of my life across MP (west & northeast parts). What I've noticed is that the people from regions in MP bordering Gujarat and Rajasthan are generally humble and helpful. On the other hand, people from same MP but bordering UP often come across as rude and entitled. So not only is UP folks are rude, they convert others who stays long with them."

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