‘Don’t Let Yourself Get So Scared’: What Rajiv Gandhi Told Sonia About Her Mother-In-Law Indira Gandhi’s Temper

Sonia Gandhi's memoir reveals how Rajiv Gandhi reassured her when she felt frightened by her mother-in-law, Indira Gandhi's temper. She recalls the former Prime Minister's angry outbursts and how she gradually understood her personality.

Congress MP Sonia Gandhi has shared a personal account of her early years in the Gandhi family, recalling how her mother-in-law, former Prime Minister Indira Gandhi, could lose her temper over even minor incidents. In her memoir, Belonging: A Journey of Love, Sonia describes how Indira's sudden outbursts left staff members and others around her visibly uncomfortable. She also reveals that, during her early days as a bride, she would feel frightened whenever her mother-in-law became angry. However, Sonia says she gradually came to understand Indira better and learnt how she dealt with people following such episodes.

Sonia Gandhi Recalls Indira Gandhi's Outbursts Of Anger

In her 544-page memoir, published by HarperCollins India and released on Tuesday, Sonia Gandhi reflects on her first year as a member of the Gandhi family. She writes that Indira Gandhi's occasional bursts of anger could leave those around her so intimidated that they struggled to respond.

Recalling one such incident, Sonia describes how a staff member was made to stand in a corner after repeatedly forgetting to remind Indira about an important appointment. Other employees continued moving around the room, feeling uncomfortable about the situation.

"What I found most alarming was my mother-in-law's occasional explosions of temper. They could freeze the staff into numbness. On one occasion, a member of the staff who had forgotten to remind her of an important appointment, and not for the first time, was made to stand in a corner of the room while others hurriedly passed by, all feeling rather embarrassed," she wrote.

Indira Gandhi Once Made A Congress Leader Stand Facing The Wall

Sonia Gandhi also recalled another incident in which she noticed a man dressed in a kurta and dhoti standing motionless in a corner, facing the wall. At the time, she was unfamiliar with senior Congress leaders and did not know who the individual was.

She later learnt that the man was a senior Congress leader who had been instructed by Indira Gandhi to stand facing the wall. Sonia said he remained in that position even after she had spent nearly half an hour with Amie Aunty, referring to Amie Crishna, a senior member of Indira Gandhi's staff.

"I was not yet familiar with who was who in the political pantheon, the fact that he was within our private space signalled that he must have been a Congress Party senior. I was with Amie Aunty (Amie Crishna) for a good half an hour, and when I walked back, the man was still stuck to the wall as ordered by my mother-in-law, I learnt later," she wrote.

Indira Gandhi Would Ignore People For Days After Disagreements

The memoir also describes how Indira Gandhi sometimes dealt with people who had upset her by refusing to acknowledge them. According to Sonia, the former Prime Minister could ignore an individual for several days, leaving them uncertain about when she would speak to them again.

Sonia further recalled that Indira's anger occasionally surfaced during family meals, particularly after unpleasant exchanges with Opposition members in Parliament. On one such occasion, she pushed her thali to the other side of the dining table in a fit of anger.

"She would occasionally flare up at mealtimes, when in Parliament there had been a particularly unpleasant exchange with the opposition. On one such occasion, she pushed her thali to the other side of the long dining table in a fit of anger. Such outbursts would unsettle me, reminding me of my father's explosions. While I'd feel perturbed and shaken, Rajiv and Sanjay would wait silently for the unpleasant moment to be over," Sonia recalled.

Rajiv Gandhi Reassured Sonia During His Mother's Angry Moments

Sonia admitted that Indira Gandhi's temper initially made her nervous, particularly because such behaviour reminded her of her own father's outbursts. However, her husband, Rajiv Gandhi, would reassure her that his mother would soon calm down.

"Don't let yourself get so scared," Rajiv would tell her, according to the memoir.

Sonia said she gradually became more familiar with her mother-in-law's personality and learnt that Indira would usually regret her angry reactions. She would often find her own way of expressing regret to the person who had upset her.

"...But until I got to know her well, I'd quake in my seat. She normally repented her outburst and, in her own way, communicated her regret to whoever had annoyed her. But if a colleague had betrayed her trust, she didn't relent; she'd distance herself and not ever deal with that person again," Sonia wrote.

Indira Gandhi Found Comfort In Household Activities

Sonia also described how Indira Gandhi would turn to everyday household activities to ease her tension. These included looking through old photographs and organising her collection of saris.

According to Sonia, Indira would ask Amie Crishna to bring out boxes of photographs, which she would then arrange according to their dates. She would also sort through her saris, label them by their origin and separate those that could be given to relatives.

"Or she'd take out her saris and with our help arrange them according to their provenance, placing tags on each bundle so that it could be accessed easily. She'd set aside some that she had worn occasionally and were still very wearable and ask us to make separate bundles for various relatives," she wrote.

Grandchildren Helped Indira Gandhi Become More Relaxed

Sonia Gandhi further noted that Indira's tense moments became less frequent after she became a grandmother. As Rahul and Priyanka grew older, they often helped the family understand their grandmother's mood before approaching her.

She wrote that the children's presence had a calming effect on Indira and that even a smile or an innocent question from them could quickly change her mood.

"As the children grew up, it was they who'd be sent to get a sense of her 'mood'. A smile or an innocent question from her grandchildren at once melted her; they helped her to relax and provided much contentment," Sonia recalled.

Through these memories, Sonia's memoir offers a glimpse into Indira Gandhi's personality within the family, describing both her occasional outbursts and the softer side that emerged in her interactions with her grandchildren.