‘We Fell In Love With Him Immediately’: Sonia Gandhi Reveals Untold Story Of First Son Who Died Hours After Birth

Sonia Gandhi's memoir reveals the heartbreaking story of her first baby boy with Rajiv Gandhi, who died just hours after birth. She recalls their grief, the family's response and the painful memories that stayed with her.

Congress leader Sonia Gandhi has shared a deeply personal account of the loss of her first child, a baby boy she had with former prime minister Rajiv Gandhi, in her newly released memoir, Belonging: A Journey of Love. The child was born more than a year before Rahul Gandhi but survived for only a few hours. In the memoir, Sonia Gandhi recounts the family's emotional journey, the happiness surrounding her pregnancy, the sudden tragedy and the grief that followed.

She also recalls former prime minister Indira Gandhi's reaction to the news of the pregnancy and how she supported the couple following their loss. The account offers a rare glimpse into a deeply personal chapter of the Gandhi family's life that has largely remained away from public discussion.

Indira Gandhi's Emotional Reaction To Sonia Gandhi's Pregnancy

Sonia Gandhi writes that the tragedy occurred in January 1969, several months after the news of her pregnancy had brought happiness to the family. Indira Gandhi, whom Sonia describes as someone who was usually restrained in expressing affection publicly, reacted with unusual warmth when she learnt that her daughter-in-law was expecting a child.

Recalling the moment, Sonia Gandhi writes that Indira Gandhi hugged her and said, "One big baby having another baby!"

The memoir also describes the excitement and anticipation surrounding the child's arrival. Sonia Gandhi recalls hearing the newborn's first cry after he was placed in an incubator.

"I heard the baby's first cry as he was placed in the incubator. Later Rajiv took me to see him, a tiny, perfectly formed boy, with thick, black hair and long, slim fingers," she writes.

"We fell in love with him immediately," she adds.

Baby Boy Survived Only For A Few Hours

The happiness surrounding the child's birth was short-lived. According to Sonia Gandhi's account, doctors had already cautioned Rajiv Gandhi that the newborn's chances of survival were uncertain.

The baby survived for only a few hours, and the couple received the devastating news the following morning.

Recalling her reaction to the loss, Sonia Gandhi writes, "'No it was not possible! Why, why,' I kept asking. Both of us were shocked and heartbroken."

She also describes how Rajiv Gandhi broke down and cried alongside her, despite his upbringing, which she says had instilled in him a "stiff upper lip".

Indira Gandhi, who was travelling at the time, cut short her tour and rushed back to the hospital after learning about the tragedy.

"She embraced us, her eyes red and swollen," Sonia Gandhi writes, recalling how the former prime minister sat with the grieving couple before reluctantly returning to her official responsibilities.

Sonia Gandhi Recalls Difficult Decision Over Baby's Burial

The memoir also reveals the family's emotional struggle over how to perform the newborn's last rites. Sonia Gandhi writes that discussions about traditional practices concerning the disposal of a newborn's body deeply distressed her, particularly when the possibility of consigning the infant's remains to a river was raised.

She firmly opposed the suggestion, recalling her response: "'No,' I whispered. 'No matter what, I'm not going to allow our baby to be thrown into the river.'"

The suggestion brought back a disturbing memory from her earlier life in India. Sonia Gandhi recalls seeing a body trapped near Delhi's Okhla barrage, an experience that made the thought of allowing her own child to be consigned to a river unbearable.

The family eventually decided to bury the baby at Feroze Gandhi's farm in Mehrauli, south Delhi. Rajiv Gandhi and his younger brother, Sanjay Gandhi, carried out the burial beneath a pink bougainvillea bush.

Loss Left A Lasting Emotional Impact On Sonia Gandhi

Recalling the painful decision, Sonia Gandhi writes, “It was a painful and agonising option, but there was no other way. For a long time we'd pause and place a flower over the spot each time we went there.”

She says the loss had a lasting emotional impact, with feelings of grief and guilt continuing for months after the tragedy.

The memoir also recounts how a vicious attack by a right-wing publication, which questioned the legitimacy of the child, added to her suffering. Sonia Gandhi says the publication's remarks caused her considerable emotional pain.

"The venom of those words scarred my heart. How could people be so cruel?" she says in the memoir.

She describes the episode as one of the defining personal tragedies of her early years in India, when her life was still far removed from the political responsibilities that would later become central to it.

Rahul Gandhi Was Born In June 1970

Sonia Gandhi writes that she became pregnant again later in 1969. However, the experience of losing her first child had changed the family's outlook, leaving them anxious rather than entirely joyful about the subsequent pregnancy.

The pregnancy eventually resulted in the birth of Rahul Gandhi on June 19, 1970.

Through Belonging: A Journey of Love, Sonia Gandhi revisits a deeply personal chapter of her life, sharing details of a family tragedy that had largely remained away from public discussion. Her account offers readers a glimpse into the emotional experiences of Sonia and Rajiv Gandhi before their lives became closely associated with Indian politics.