Bengaluru man shares how chasing bonus & boss's false deadline led to burnout, lost fatherhood; see reactions
By Shweta Kumari | First Published Oct 16, 2024, 8:11 PM ISTWorking for a US-based product company, a Bengaluru-based software engineer found himself navigating the pressures of a high-stakes deadline with the promise of a substantial bonus hanging in the balance.
In the fast-paced corporate world, balancing personal life with professional ambitions is a challenge many face, but few endure as intensely as this Bengaluru-based software engineer who took to social media platform Reddit to share his experience. Working for a US-based product company, he found himself navigating the pressures of a high-stakes deadline with the promise of a substantial bonus hanging in the balance.
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As the only team member based in India for a US-based product company, the pressure was immense, but the promise of a sizable bonus—a whopping Rs 6 lakh—made the stakes even higher. His manager, an Indian with over 15 years in the US, dangled this performance-based reward in front of him back in May, tying it to the completion of crucial security-based features by the end of September.
Eager to prove himself in a new organization where he'd only been working for less than six months, the engineer devoted himself entirely to the task. “I wanted to excel and show that I was worth it,” he admits. But this quest for excellence came at a heavy price. He sacrificed not just his work-life balance but moments of immense personal importance.
In July, his life changed dramatically as he became a father. However, instead of savoring the joys of new fatherhood, he found himself buried under the weight of his job. With no household help, no parental support, and a wife working in a WITCH company with better work-life balance, the couple was left to fend for themselves during her tough first trimester. "We didn’t have a cook, maid, or anyone to help us," he recalls. His wife, physically exhausted, needed him, but the pressure from work was relentless.
He found himself juggling countless responsibilities—coding, cooking, cleaning, shopping—all while racing against an approaching deadline. Yet, despite his herculean efforts, he fell short of migrating two out of 40+ services by the due date.
And then came the twist—one that would leave him more frustrated than relieved. "I was prepared for the worst," he says, expecting a stern meeting with his manager in early October. But to his shock, the manager casually brushed off the missed deadline, revealing that the timeline wasn’t strictly applicable to their team. Exceptions could be made, and the project would be presented as 100% complete to upper management.
On paper, this news should have been a triumph. A hefty bonus would still land in his account by the end of October, as promised. But the victory felt hollow. "I’ve been drained mentally, physically, and emotionally," he confesses. The burnout from months of sleepless nights, relentless stress, and unending sacrifices had taken its toll.
He couldn’t enjoy his wife’s pregnancy journey, a chapter that should have been filled with shared joy and excitement. Instead, he denied her requests for even small moments of companionship—a walk, a movie, a weekend break—always putting work first. “I thought I was building something for my child’s future, as if my job depended on it," he says, now wracked with guilt. "I feel angry, fooled, and stressed."
His story has sparked mixed reactions with many labeling it as his choice to go through this experience.
A user wrote, "It’s not your Manager , it’s you who had gone all out for 6lakh . It’s your choice . Don’t blame your manager"
Another user commented, "I don't understand why you see this as a problem. You can finish your work, get your bonus, and enjoy a well-deserved vacation. You can't go back in time, so make the most of your present moment. Life is about balance. Prioritize what matters most to you and move forward."
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