3. Keeping Score
A relationship is not a game. If you mentally keep tally of every favor, every mistake, and every sacrifice: you are keeping score, and that engenders resentment. It will convert your relationship into a competition, rather than a collaboration.
Why It's Toxic:
It implies love is conditional and transactional. Persistently dredging up your partner's shortcomings or brandishing the list of what you've done for them will build guilt, shame, and defensiveness-not gratitude and support.
How to Fix It:
Embrace forgiveness and gratitude. Instead of focusing on who did more, focus on how to grow together. Mutual effort, not equal math, keeps love alive.