‘Couldn’t Win an Egg Cup’: Geoffrey Boycott Delivers Brutal Verdict on England’s Ashes 2025 Campaign

Following England’s 8-wicket loss in the second Ashes 2025 Test, Geoffrey Boycott called their performance a “horror show,” criticising poor batting, wayward bowling, dropped catches, and dismissing Ben Stokes’ long-term tour ‘blueprint'.

Former England captain turned columnist and commentator, Geoffrey Boycott, slammed the Ben Stokes-led side following their 8-wicket defeat in the Ashes 2025 Pink-Ball Test against Australia at the Gabba in Brisbane on Sunday, December 7.

The second Ashes Test was wrapped up in four days compared to a two-day contest in the series opener at Perth, but England were outplayed across all departments by Australia. The visitors were bundled out for 241 in the second innings, thanks to resilient Ben Stokes (50) and Will Jacks' (41) 96-run partnership for the seventh wicket, and set a modest 65-run target on the penultimate day.

Australia did not waste any time as they wrapped up the Pink-Ball Test by chasing a paltry target in just 10 overs, with Steve Smith going aggressive by playing a knock of 23 off 9 balls, including a winning six to seal the victory and leave England trailing 0-2 in the five-match Test series.

England Slammed for ‘Horror Show’

Geoffrey Boycott did not mince his words to rip into England’s horror show in the second Ashes 2025, slamming ‘irresponsible’ performance with the bat and ball and added that the Ben Stokes-led side would not win the Ashes if they continue with this sort of performance in the remainder of the series.

“Brisbane was a horror show: irresponsible batting, bowling too short, too wide or too full and catches dropped,” Boycott wrote in his The Telegraph column.

“With this sort of batting and bowling, they couldn’t win an egg cup, let alone the Ashes urn.” he added.

England were bundled out twice in both Tests of the ongoing Ashes series, failing to post a competitive total on any of the four occasions, which allowed Australia to take full control and expose the visitors’ glaring shortcomings. In the first innings, England bowlers, except Jofra Archer, lacked discipline and rhythm, and five catches were dropped by the fielders, allowing Australia to post a solid 511-run total, alongside a 117-run lead.

England haven’t won an Ashes series since their last win in 2015 and are yet to win an Ashes match in Australia since the 2010-11 tour.

Boycott Questions England’s Blueprint for Ashes Series

Former England captain was not convinced by Ben Stokes’ statement, wherein he stated that England had been planning a ‘blueprint’ for four years for the Australia tour, dismissing it as a ‘load of bull***’*, arguing that the performance on their field in the first two Tests of the ongoing Ashes series says everything.

“What a load of bulls---. We can’t believe anything Ben or his team say. None of them wants to listen to anyone outside of their own camp,” Boycott wrote.

“They are up their own backsides convinced that Test cricket has changed so much that only they know anything about the modern game,” he added.

England arrived in Australia in Early November, had a warm-up match in Lilac Hill in Perth ahead of their Ashes series opener at the Optus Stadium. However, the Ben Stokes-led side was criticised for skipping the Pink-Ball practice match against Australia’s Prime Minister XI, which is a traditional fixture considered crucial for acclimatising to the conditions ahead of a day-night Test.

In the Pink-Ball Test, England batters, except for Joe Root and Zak Crawley in the first innings and Ben Stokes and Will Jacks in the second, once again failed to apply themselves, exposing the team’s continued struggles against Australia’s disciplined bowling attack.

What Next for England in the Ashes Series?

England are currently in a situation where they must win the remainder of the Ashes series to end its 10-year drought of holding the Ashes urn. After being left trailing 0-2 following the successive losses in Perth and Brisbane, the Ben Stokes-led side has an arduous task in hand to return to their winning ways.

With the third Test taking place at the Adelaide Oval, where England have a poor record, winning nine games in 33 outings, the visitors face a daunting challenge to bounce back and avoid falling further behind in the series. England are expected to make a few changes in their playing XI, especially in bowling, as they look to strengthen their attack and address the discipline issues that have plagued them in the first two Tests.

However, there is an uncertainty over Mark Wood’s participation in the Adelaide Test after he was ruled out of the Pink-Ball Test due to an injury, raising concerns over England’s pace attack heading into a crucial match. It’s likely that Brydon Carse, who conceded 154 runs and took 4 wickets in the first innings, will be replaced by Josh Tongue to bolster the seam for the third Ashes Test.

It remains to be seen whether England can regroup mentally and execute a more disciplined performance with the bat and ball to keep their Ashes hopes alive in Adelaide.