Skinny, fat, medium, just right: No matter your size, you are bound to be shamed

I must confess I am a huge Deepika Padukone fan and when I heard she was on the cover of the latest UK Vanity Fair I googled with a vengeance that only a Deepikator (Deepika fan) can assume. (Sidenote: Is Deepikator a thing? If not, then can I make it one?). I was however, taken a little aback with the other thing that showed up on the search.

The actress was relentlessly skinny-shamed for her look. The tweets happen to be advisory in nature, basically asking her to eat food. Sigh! Makes you think doesn’t it? If an international actress of her calibre can be trolled for looking the way she does, how does the average Indian girl stand a chance?

The onslaught sent me back a few years, one of my best friends was getting married and all of us piled into her room after getting dressed. While the bride was busy getting her makeup done, I decided to help out some of the aunties with some arrangements. On my approach however, a generally grand-motherly looking lady turned up her nose at me and said something. The entire room burst out laughing.

I looked around for an explanation, till a friend told me that she had called me ‘Sukha bombil’, a dried duck! Fast forward a few years later, I was on a break from work and living at home. Like any child, I decided to make the most of my mother’s cooking and devoured food like there’s no tomorrow. The result was, as you imagine, rather ‘filling’.

During this phase I heard many helpful remarks, some of them being, “What happened to you? You used to be so thin?”,  “I think you should  start going to the gym”, “Everyone has to be careful about what they eat after 25” and the best one “You look like you are pregnant!”.  

Yes, I hold the enviable distinction of having been both skinny and fat shamed. I am guessing there is a world record trophy with my name on it somewhere.

Skinny, fat, medium, rare, thin, I have never come across any woman whose physique has not been commented upon by others. To be honest, this former Sukha Bombil has also made some unsavoury remarks in her lifetime and has decided to turn a new leaf.

I won’t preach about how awful it is to body-shame people, no, there’s no point to that. Instead, I am just taking an oath to suppress that sneaky little comment that arises whenever I meet or see someone. No more “Have you seen her in that dress?” or “Chee, what happened to her?” or some other such mean, debilitating comment that probably won’t affect someone like Deepika Padukone but can have damaging effects on the psyche of women like you and me.

The only thing that I can hope for is that anyone reading this article takes the same oath, or at least considers it once. I am not hoping for the world to change overnight, we are all addicts and can only try to cut down on our toxic behaviour. So guys, next time, try giving a compliment instead, who knows whose day you might brighten?