The Happiness Of Sadness

On some days I want to be sad. I like to watch my petty sorrows rise to the surface, and I like to get submerged in the blues. 

Most humans I know are allergic to this emotion. The minute they see you with a downcast face, enquires fly fast and furious - 'What happened?', 'Come on, it can't be that bad', 'Cheer up, I'll take you out for a drink.' 

During those moments I want to explode, 'Leave me alone, I need to feel sad.' I don’t, for only a handful of people would understand - here is a human exploring an emotion as natural as breathing.

I remember buying this book entitled, 'The meaning of tragedy.' 

A friend of mine who was with me was most alarmed. He cautioned, 'If you think of negative things like this, you will attract them. I only think happy thoughts.' I smiled my polite smile, paid the bill and thought deep, dark, horrible thoughts about him.

I am not talking about an unbearable grief, which breaks you without mercy. Like heartbreak or death or an incurable illness. What I am referring to is a pensive, deep blue that streaks the sunshine of the soul. An indigo that brings out the beauty of yellow.

Maintaining a happy-bunny sense of happiness all the time is exhausting. A being needs time to pause, to regret, to wonder about a different life. Sometimes, it isn’t even so logical. It is a gentle dipping of the spirits as you watch the milk boil.

So what does one do when one sees a loved one sad? I would ask if they are okay and if I can help. Then, I would let them be and give them the space to wander a bit in their head. When they come out, they will remember you were concerned and be grateful they were allowed to pause in the garden of darkness.

Samuel Butler said, 'Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.' None of us knows how to live a life and we all do what we think is best. As we keep trying to make sense of this business of living, isn’t it fair to give ourselves a chance not to feel good? A chance to wish for other things? A chance to be an imperfect human?

Yes, happiness is positive, wonderful and energising. The pursuit of it is what makes life worth living. However, sadness has its place too, and we shouldn’t shy away from submitting to its graceful beauty. 

It has the power to make us happy

Still Figuring It Out’ a funny, sad, questioning take on adulthood will appear every Saturday on newsable.com. Arathi Menon is the author of Leaving Home With Half a Fridge, a memoir published by Pan Macmillan. She tweets at https://twitter.com/unopenedbottle. The views expressed here are her own.