What is sleep divorce? Understanding why couples are choosing to sleep apart, especially during vacation

In our busy lives, where juggling work commitments and personal responsibilities leaves little room for rest, many couples are discovering an unconventional solution: sleep divorce. This term refers to the practice of couples choosing to sleep separately, particularly while on vacation.

Sunita Iyer

First Published Oct 25, 2024, 7:00 AM IST | Last Updated Oct 25, 2024, 7:00 AM IST

In the hustle and bustle of modern-day life ― balancing work demands while trying to create a personal life for yourself, too — one weird way that some couples are coping with an age-old problem is by splitting up when they sleep. A sleep divorce? The term that describes couples who opt to sleep apart, mostly while traveling. This trend is growing, the recent Hilton report says, with vacationers wanting as much rest and relaxation as possible wherever they stay.

According to Hilton’s 2025 Trends report, 63% of travelers find they sleep better when they have a bed to themselves. Interestingly, 37% of families on vacation are opting for separate sleeping arrangements, especially when traveling with children. The report suggested that some parents think it might be best to sleep in separate areas from their kids to get quality rest during the vacation. The idea of a "sleep divorce" sounds drastic, but it does not mean that couples are abandoning each other emotionally and/or physically. Rather, it has been about resting best in a world that is almost too busy.

Why are couples opting to sleep apart and what can its impact be?

Experts agree that not getting enough sleep can seriously impact both our health and our relationships. Dr. Seema Khosla, a pulmonologist and spokesperson for the AASM, highlighted the connection between the quality of sleep and how satisfied we feel in our relationships.

“Getting a good night’s sleep is important for both health and happiness, so it’s no surprise that some couples choose to sleep apart for their overall well-being,” she was quoted as saying in a The Independent report.

Stacy Thiry, a telehealth mental health counselor at Grow Therapy, reiterated this perspective, highlighting that improved sleep can lead to reduced irritability and enhanced communication. In an interview with Fox, Thiry noted that sleeping apart could actually strengthen feelings of intimacy, as partners who are well-rested often feel less frustrated.

"Sleep divorce could even boost connection for some people, reporting that they feel closer since they’re not waking up a little bit resentful [after] a bad night’s sleep,” she told the news outlet.

However, Thiry also acknowledged the potential downside of sleep divorce, as it can reduce spontaneous physical intimacy. She cautioned that some couples may find that sleeping apart leads to fewer opportunities for 'impromptu closeness', which can affect the physical intimacy that’s important in maintaining a healthy relationship.

The rise of 'sleep divorce' at home

Interestingly, this trend goes beyond just vacations. A 2023 survey conducted by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) found that more than one-third of Americans regularly engage in "sleep divorce," even within their own homes. This indicates that couples are choosing not only to sleep in separate beds but, in some instances, to occupy entirely different rooms to guarantee a restful night’s sleep.

The AASM study revealed that men are more inclined than women (45 percent compared to 25 percent) to move to another room, like a guest room or the couch, so their partner can sleep without disturbances.

In contrast, women tend to stay in the shared bedroom while their male partners choose to relocate.

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