#PinkHero: Men, watch out what you speak in locker rooms

By Pallavi Sengupta | First Published Oct 30, 2017, 1:02 PM IST

Ensure that if you are in the company of women, she gets the chance to change in isolation.
Respect women for what they are and stop digging at them, depending on their appearance and body type.
Make friends, but do not over indulge. That will trigger warning signals.

You certainly do not want to attract the criticism that American President Donald Trump had attracted with his secret locker room talk, "tried to f--k” a married woman and “moved on her like a b---h,” and bragged about using his celebrity to “grab [women] by the p---y.” As derogatory it may sound, this is not just the American President for you, but thousands of men who feel that it is normal to talk that way in private. The general consensus is, this should not effect women as they are not involved physically and that these are "small" talks among men, which is normal for their nature.

But, you are wrong. Imagine thinking about something and achieving it? You are what you think. This means, if you think of women in this way in private, it is bound to reflect on how you behave in public. So, here's a way to change things at a personal level. Change the way you talk even in locker rooms. Actually, that will do a lot to help women feel safe.

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Stop dirty talking: Talk sports if you have to. Talk about how women athletes are making it to the top, beating all odds. It is absolutely not necessary to speak about her appearance or the way she looks in a bikini. Remember, if you are passing sexist remarks targetting someone, someone else is doing the same with your wife or daughter. It certainly would not go down too well with you.

Respect the privacy of women: If it is a combined locker room for men and women. Give her the opportunity to change first in privacy or in isolation. Even if your friends insist, do not let them enter when there are women inside the room. Even if she is ok with the combined system, make her feel comfortable. Let her know how well she swam or how good she was in that volley match. That will increase her confidence in a room full of men.

Be friends: There is no harm in making friends. In fact, she would appreciate it. If you are using the same room, share your stories with each other and let her know if she needed any help for anything. If she shares an experience, listen to her carefully and do not judge her. Offer a solution or help. Remember, that is all she needs at that moment.

Stop bitching about your GF or wife: Although it is fine to discuss problems in your life with friends and seek their help, it is absolutely not fine to talk about the women in your lives in a barbed manner. She could have her own share of problems and frustrations.

Motivate others to change too: If one of your locker room friends is passing a nasty remark at a woman, stop him right there and let him know how uncomfortable you are. Let them know how you feel and how this will effect the social standard of a woman. Let them know that most of the crimes occur because of the way men feel about women. Motivate your friends to stop such crimes too.

An expert had once said that men usually indulge in dirty talks in locker rooms either to gain acknowledgement from other men or just start an interaction with a stranger. It is, in fact, an unconscious way of striking the common chord of interest men share. However, rarely do they know that it can effect their psyche unconsciously.

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