English media's meltdown as football team flops again

Watching the English football team in action is of the dullest experiences life can offer. In the initial minutes of the match, the ball at English feet magically transforms into a porcupine in defence mode.

 

When they are a goal down or in desperate need to score a winner, they play with the coherence and guile of 14-year-olds whose ginger ales are spiked with alcohol.

 

The recriminations in the aftermath of a yet another early tournament exit from the acid pens of English press pack is immensely more entertaining. This writer endures 90 minutes of footballing dross from Rooney and co merely to get the most accurate context for the colourful savagery, and collective meltdown that follows in the name of analysis on social media and newspaper columns. And, boy, the England footballers do a fabulous job of keeping the fields of sarcasm and derision fertile with generous supplies of composted performances.

 

Today's second round loss in Euro 2016 to the tiny volcanic island of Iceland (population 300,000) is widely described as the lowest point in the history of English football. The previous low occurred barely two years ago when England crashed out of the World Cup in the very first round not managing to win a single game.

 

It is highly unlikely that a new low will not arrive soon.

 

 

Here's a sampling of the best of the insta breast beating by English pundits and former players on Twitter.

 

Leading the way is writer and radio show host Danny Baker whose bitter outburst will be hard to match, for a day or two at least.